Good Morning Lowcountry

Headlines

From The Onion, America's finest fake newspaper:

--Number Of Acceptable Things Candidates Can Say Now Down To Four

--McCain Vows To Replace Secret Service With His Own Bare Fists

--Nation Agrees Not To Talk About Politics

--Economic Stimulus Check Burned For Warmth

--The Pope Returns To Vatican With Comprehensive Plan To Blow Up United States

--Cheney Adds Rare '64 Kuwait To Oil Cellar

--30 Years Of Man's Life Disappear In Mysterious 'Kansas Rectangle'

--Potential Employee Uprising Quelled With Free Pizza

--Pittsburgh No. 1 In Soot

--Enterprising Dog Opens Own Kennel

--Breakthrough Heinz Bottle Shoots Ketchup With Laser-Like Precision

--Four-Year Descent Into Complete Self-Obsession Live-Blogged

--Workaholic Wakes Up In Pool Of Own Paperwork

--Nation's Last Themeless Restaurant Closes

--Walking Sports Database Scorns Walking Sci-Fi Database

--Novelists Strike Fails To Affect Nation Whatsoever

--Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capitol Rotunda

--New NFL Rule Will Force Players To Have One Of Three Appropriate Haircuts

--Watching TV Shows On DVD The Way To Do It, Area Man Reports

Also, last week native Charlestonian Stephen Colbert was interviewed on SCETV. An outtake:

"Have any of the three candidates running for president come to you and said, 'Stephen, I want you to run as my vice president?'"

"Yes."

"What would you bring to the ticket?

"Chutzpah."

GMLc

Comment at www.charleston.net/news/gmlc. Call 937-5564. Write to GMLc at gmlc@postandcourier.com. We blog at www.gmlc.typepad.com.