It Beats Working	Bill on Movies

E-mail story

comment

Printer-friendly version

You're Ghana love these travel tips

This week's topic: Planning a memorable vacation.

Let's say it's your wedding anniversary and you want to go to the Caribbean. You've saved up the money, asked for the appropriate days off work and arranged for the kids to stay at your mother's. After countless hours of searching on the Web, you've finally found the perfect flight and hotel to fit your budget. Just about the time you're ready to click "confirm," it suddenly dawns on you: Maybe you should see if your spouse wants to go, too.

If this sounds anything like you, check out these handy travel tips that are sure to make your next vacation more enjoyable (translation: allowing you to make it to your next anniversary).

I promise that if you follow my advice, you'll find yourself sitting on a tropical beach enjoying a mixed drink in less time than it takes to say, "Wait, are you even qualified to be giving travel advice?"

TIP NO. 1: Choose a location that is awesome.

This is the No. 1 mistake made by most travelers. After spending months, sometimes years saving up hard-earned money to go on a trip, they wind up choosing a place that isn't awesome.

TIP NO. 2: Use a legitimate travel agent.

No matter how charismatic they might seem and no matter how much they might tell you they love reading your newspaper column (OK, so it was after asking what I did for a living), do not be fooled by one of these so-called "door-to-door travel agents."

Red flag: They will ask for your money up front (in cash), and say they'll call later to find out where you want to go.

TIP NO. 3: Avoid countries with names that rhyme with "Biraq."

You'll end up happier (and shot at less) in the long run.

TIP NO. 4: Don't get travel insurance.

Sure, it might sound great to have protection in case you need to cancel your trip for any reason, but why spend an additional $25 when you've already sunk $5,000 in a trip? That's just stupid, my friends.

TIP NO. 5: Visit a place where you can make clever plays on words involving the name of country.

For instance, try visiting spots where you can crack out gems such as these:

"I Belize I can fly!"

"Are you as Hungary as I am?"

"Palau, how ya like me now?"

"Jamaican me crazy!"

"Czechoslovakian me crazy!"

Bryce's mom

When visiting Cozumel, Mexico, be sure to get some snapshots of the country’s natural beauty. Or better yet, a funny gas station sign.

TIP NO. 6: Pick photogenic locales.

When traveling, a good rule of thumb to ask yourself is: "Is this a place that lends itself to good photographs I can share with my family and friends?" Sure a snapshot of the clear blue waters of the Bahamas may seem like the logical choice, but consider a photo of you standing in front of the "Big Bone Lick State Park" sign instead (it's in Kentucky).

TIP NO. 7: Never book your rental car online.

Take it from me, always wait until you get where you're going. Sometimes you'll find that your hotel is centrally located. Sometimes you'll find that taking a taxi is cheaper. And sometimes you'll find that the entire staff at Venice International Airport will start laughing hysterically at you if you ask for the Hertz desk.

TIP NO. 8: Don't drink the water.

Whether you are in the remote regions of South America or simply the continental United States (say, West Virginia), this is a good rule of thumb.

By following these tips, your next trip is bound to be a breeze. Then, all that's left to do is pack some sunscreen, a bathing suit and lots of spare underwear. You know, just in case you forget to follow that last tip.

Bryce Donovan still thinks the only real way to travel is to "Go Greyhound." Reach him at 937-5938 or bdonovan@postandcourier.com.

< Previous month Next month >