Easier to feel sorry for yourself than to be grateful

Sometimes, it is easy to feel like the world is an ugly place. Things happen, not just around the world, but in our own communities, that make us question our safety or happiness. We can wonder why so many bad things happen, and even ask "Why me?"

I have had many of these moments.

But then, something, some small thing, can happen that reminds us that there is a lot to be grateful for. It can be a phone call from a good friend, or when you find that you have a talent you didn't know was there, or when you realize that you can effortlessly do yoga poses while others struggle with them.

During the last several months, I have undergone four surgeries. I have found it remarkably easy to feel sorry for myself and wonder why this is all happening to me. I wonder why I have to be the classic example of the Suffering Jew. And then someone or something reminds me, without trying, that things are not so bad. When I walk into MUSC on my own feet, with my own strength, and I see people who are suffering with terrible illnesses, walking around with sparse patches of hair from chemotherapy, or walking on crutches with only one leg, or people who need machines to help them breathe, I think that maybe I don't have it so bad. And it is especially when I see the underlying power and determina-tion in these people, looking happy despite their illnesses, that I know I am seeing true strength, and an ability to be grateful for what they do have, rather than dwelling on what they don't.

It is humbling.

And I think of all of the things that I have to be grateful for: family, friends, a healthy body with a few quirks, food in the cupboard and a Big Dream to fulfill, something to look forward to. And as for the "Suffering Jew" thing, I realize that I am merely being neurotic, when there are Israelis who are suffering in a way that I can't imagine: war on three fronts. Such a Drama Queen I am, for feeling like everything bad is happening to me, and I am still so healthy and safe (but always alert) compared to people not just in my community, but around the world.

Switching gears from feeling sorry for yourself to feeling grateful is not always easy, but is possible. If I can do it, you can. I think first of family and friends, people who are there for me no matter what. They may not be high in numbers, but they make up for it in love shared. I'm sure there's a mathematical equation of some sort that could be made of it, but math was never my strong suit. Then I think of the things that my body can do. Even with certain limitations, I am still so able-bodied. "At least you still have your health" no longer sounds like a ridiculous platitude.

If you are reading this, I am sure you have something to be grateful for. You are alive, and not starving, and not threatened with genocide, and you probably have someone you can pick up the phone and call if you need to talk.

The world makes it really easy for us to feel bad, to feel like everything is against us, and the truth is that it isn't. We are all surrounded by things to be happy about; we need merely to open our eyes and see them.

Gratitude. It is a wonderful thing. And we not only have access to it, but it is free. I remember reading a quote somewhere that said something like: "The two words guaranteed to draw a big crowd: Free Food." I think we can amend that to read "Free Gratitude." I'd show up. And I would definitely bring a friend.

Suzanne Gannon is a yoga instructor in the Charleston area. Reach her at suzygannonyoga@yahoo.com.