Hoping thrifty spouse will agree to plunge into pool

One of my 8-year-old triplet boys, Jerrod, has had enough tragedy in his life that one would think he would be a little pessimistic. He's burned himself badly, almost ripped his ear off and had stitches in his head, not to mention countless road rashes.

The other day, he was trying to break up rocks with a screwdriver and a hammer. My husband, Mike, told him that was a real bad idea because with his luck a piece of rock would fly up and take his eye out, or he would hammer the screwdriver through his hand. Jerrod triumphantly pulled out a four-leaf clover that he tied around his neck and smiled broadly at his dad.

Children are amazing idealists. They believe in fairy tales, magic, happy endings and every story, myth and character that we dream up for them. As an adult, it's fun to get lost in the world of an innocent child.

I've been harassing Mike about putting a pool in our backyard for the kids. The main argument he has is that we've not acquired enough retirement savings to consider a pool. A pool would be a big expense for us. I am all about spending money on the kids. Mike is all about saving for the future. If I had my way, I probably would have to work until I died. If Mike had his way, we probably would have enough money to retire next year, but RJ would be working his way through college, and we certainly wouldn't subscribe to cable TV.

I recently read a book called "Who Moved My Cheese?" It's a story about two mice and two Little People who live in a maze of cheese. The mice remind me of children and the Little People remind me of adults. The mice seek instant gratification, and when they cannot find it, they merely move on. The Little People seek safety and security, they overanalyze, and they have difficulty accepting change and risk. As one of the most popular management books, this is not entirely the message the book is intended to convey. However, it did remind me of the little boy with the four-leaf clover hanging around his neck, and the 45-year-old man who doesn't want to put a pool in the backyard because he's worried about retirement.

Certainly, there is a balance between these two extremes. That's where I come in. (Mike will tell you I'm the other side of the extreme.) I tried to explain to Mike how a pool would be a good investment. Unfortunately, he did his research and proved that wasn't true. I tried to explain that the kids were all good swimmers, and since the summers were so hot this would give them something to do outside and keep them active for many years. He replied that we didn't need to spend $20,000 to $30,000 to keep them active.

I explained how a pool would keep them close to home and make it easier for the nanny to watch them in the summer. One point for the mom. I explained that it would cost less because they would hang out at the house and not want to go other places, such as water parks. He started adding up the cost of pool maintenance. I countered with the cost of running a sprinkler all day long. He brought up feeding the neighborhood kids.

I told him that he still could retire early, and I would be forced to keep working since the pool was my idea, and he would have some peace and quiet during the day β€” lounging by the pool β€” after the kids went off to college. I think he's thinking about getting a pool now.

So, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll be watching my kids doing cannonballs and the Nestea plunge in my backyard this summer.

Lisa Brown is a Mount Pleasant working mother of five children ages 6-19. E-mail her at lbrown@postandcourier.com.