Senior girls bond through P-G forum

In the chaos of planning for college and muscling through the last year of high school academics, it's easy for seniors to forget about maintaining the social bonds they've built within their graduating class. People connect and strengthen friendships within their close social group, but otherwise, it seems little "group bonding" is done.

At Porter-Gaud School, Lyn Harrison, director of the counseling department, recognized this trend. In 2001, she created the senior girls' forum, determined to instill a sense of community and bring the senior girls together as a group.

At each forum meeting, the girls gather at the head of school's home at the edge of the Porter-Gaud campus. There, they spend their lunch period talking to each other and their high school counselors, discussing topics ranging from college to media literacy and feminism.

"It's for the girls to be able to share their experiences with each other and to say goodbye to each other," says Amanda Parrott, Upper School counselor. "At times, it's for reflection on the past, and it's permission to start letting go and looking forward to the future."

During the voluntary meetings, planned activities can include speakers, seminars on women's issues or activities to facilitate discussion about the girls' experiences together.

"One of my favorite activities was when we wrote down questions on a note card about anything and we talked about them as a group," recalls senior Perin Sanjana. "One of the questions I remember was, 'What is your biggest fear about college?' "

Other times, the girls talk freely as a group. At their most recent meeting, the discussion topics included the lack of respect for senior privileges by underclassmen to changes in the middle school environment. With 13 years of education behind them, the young women have lots to say about what's best for younger students.

"Instead of going through middle school, kids now are just going straight from elementary school to high school," said Michelle Donnelly.

Some girls voiced their agreement with this statement, and others shared their own thoughts.

"(Middle school) is an awkward and horrible experience, but it's like a rite of passage that everyone needs to go through," added Lillian Scott.

Although food is provided, the main appeal of the forums comes from the girls' close relationships. Many of them have attended Porter-Gaud together since the first grade, but even those who joined the class in later years feel as if they're part of the community.

"In general, girls enjoy exploring their relationships, which is exactly the intent and focus of these meetings," Parrott says. "Hopefully, it allows them to explore their relationships in a positive way and prepare them for the future."

Caroline Reigart enjoys the forums and recalls many of the topics that came up during the school year, especially the ones where girls got to weigh in on changes at the school.

"We talked a good bit about Porter-Gaud in general, and about where we saw it going in the future and what we thought it needed for improvement," she says.

The girls also talk about their school's role in the community, and how they fit into the bigger picture of Lowcountry schools. "Ashley Hall and Porter-Gaud relationships were a big topic one time," Caroline says. "We talked about how we wanted to eliminate a lot of needless worry, gossip and drama between our two schools."

There's also chatter about boys. Caroline says the girls felt the senior boys have come to be more like brothers than love interests during their school years.

The meetings provide a nice break from their hectic schedule and allow the girls to reflect on their friendships and experiences as a class. The goal, counselors say, is for the girls to leave Porter-Gaud having valued their time together and being well-equipped to face the future.

"We hope the girls feel a sense of closure as the year ends, and they have a greater sense of friendship and appreciation of the many experiences they have had along the way," Parrott says. "We also hope they are more aware of the talents and strengths each possesses and how to protect these as they move on to new experiences in college."

Tina Mao is a Porter-Gaud senior. E-mail her at tinamao89@gmail.com.